3/14/09

Mayan's Prove Superiority with Stucco

Stucco is the height of civiliztion. They built pyramids, but they new the science of stucco. Truely the Mayans were an advanced people. Perhaps stucco is the science that proves they could predict the end of the world better than others?


http://cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2009/03/12/1833838.aspx

3/13/09

Beginner's guide to Appocolypse

Some people are very helpful. Here's another short and sweet article on the end of the world.

http://www.theyoungturks.com/story/2009/3/11/14331/4599/Diary/A-Beginner-s-Guide-to-the-End-of-the-World

Start the party early

Sometimes there re some really good ideas. I like this one.
http://www.pitch.com/2009-03-12/restaurants/you-don-t-have-to-wait-for-the-last-day-of-the-mayan-calendar-to-make-a-trip-to-fiesta-azteca/

Dolphin Leather, Really!

Need some dolphin leather. Dolphin leather might be the only thing between you and the end of the world. You want to keep your religious artifacts dry, right?

Really. It's in the bible.


3/8/09

Missed Appointments or 2012 another false alarm

Skeptics are way too skeptical. Case in point is Dylan Otto Krider and his latest blog on 2012. He posits that we have a lot of missed appointments with doom. It is as if Dylan is saying that because of all the other predicted ends of time, we can probably write off 2012 as just another missed appointment as well.

I despise this sort of thinking. Sort of like how I despise mayonnaise - especially at picnics when in the potato salad! That stuff is freaking dangerous. It is just raw egg, lemon and oil. Raw egg mixed with potatoes brewing salmonella in the hot sun! Mayonnaise is the devil's spawn... Anyway, I hate it when skeptics throw the track record of doomsayers about willy nilly. 

Is 2012 a false alarm? Are we going to hit the SNOOZE button of the apocalyptic clock? 

Maybe that is exactly why we haven't seen the apocalypse. The gods that made the appointment and just missed missed it due to oversleeping or were caught in a traffic jam at the appointed hour. Why can't skeptics look at the other side of the missing coin? 

Dylan is right. There have been a lot of doomsayers that have predicted the apocalypse and missed the mark. No arguments there. But we might get lucky this time. The odds are a few billion to one, but if we hit that one... At last the world will be rid of mayo because there will be nobody left that knows the recipe.


A few good links from Dylan:

3/7/09

World to End When Bill Passes

First, a quote of a quote from the article where I found the video below:

"Our country is on the verge of “armageddon,” “nuclear war,” and “the demise of a civilization.”

Nice quote. But I have to correct the doomsayer. It isn't the "on the verge of Armageddon". Armageddon is a place. You can be near, far, headed in that direction, or even knocking on Armageddon's door. On the "verge" is poor grammar. 

Anyway, it is nice to see that it is possible to trigger the end of the world with simple legislation. We can do that for sure! Much more difficult and time consuming to wait on vengeful gods or a killer comet.


Pray for Tivo

If gods had Tivo, would they miss fewer apocalypses or strike down more blasphemers with a bolt of lightning? Is a facination with Oprah causeing vengful gods to not work their regular hours?

I know I get more work done because Tivo lets me better manage my favorite shows. FULL DISCLOSURE - I do not work for Tivo or own any stock. But if they are hiring, give me a call.

The simple fact is, the gods are not nearly as vengeful as they used to be. Sure there are still hurricanes (both weather and the drink), volcanoes, floods, violence, and war. But the big guy (or gal) is just not taking the time to take out evildoers.

Look at North Korea. Been there a long time. It isn't like it is hidden. Or the USSR before it fell. Could have been done a lot sooner, why wait for Reagan? I think too much TV in heaven caused this.

My recommendation: Pray for Tivo.

Then again, maybe it is too much prayer? Look at prayer like email. You can bet that any god that uses prayer for communication is probably sorry for the invention. Just when you finaly get to an important email for a meeting, it is already two weeks ago. I am sure that god is sitting there, just now going through the 2o year old prayers about Saddam Hussein, only to find out he has already been mistakenly let into heaven.

3/4/09

Another Asteroid Misses Earth, Cancel Apocalypse

Damn, I hate it when Apocalypse passes by.

The problem however is that this little asteroid that folks are talking about isn't going to cause Apocalypse. Well, at least not according to some false reports the referenced asteroid was of an Armageddon-scale. The problem is that a lot of folks hear asteroid and Earth and do some very poor math to scare the poop out of people. 

At 60 meters, this asteroid is not a killer, just a mass murderer of inconvenience. If it hit far out in the ocean it may not even ripple a wave on a beach. If it hit a small town, maybe wipe it out. Largish cities would just have a day of horrible traffic. It wouldn't be a slow news day, but the next day would be really slow except for reporters interviewing astronomers and disappointed end-of-the-world freaks waiting for something bigger.

The worst issue is the obvious misunderstanding of the reporter of the actual size of Armageddon. Armageddon, or Mount Megiddo as its friends and souvenir shops call it, is located in Israel. 

This asteroid doesn't even register on that scale. At 60 meters the asteroid is less than 1% on the Armageddon-scale. Disappointing in both reporting accuracy and that there is no apocalypse coming, even if this asteroid is circling back for another shot at us.

Megiddo A.K.A. Armageddon isn't 60 meters. Megiddo is a smallish hill that is at least 500 by 1,000 meters based on my reckoning using Google maps. If such a Megiddo hill came from outer space, and then hit us, that would be on Armageddon-scale. In fact, you could call it a "One" on the Armageddon-scale. 

Megiddo is really just a short pile of rubble (as are many asteroids which is a scary coincidence) that has thousands of years of history. Through a process of multiple wars and cities built on destroyed cities, Megiddo has become a hill.
  
They say this is where the last battle of good and evil will take place. Maybe. Maybe that was a typo or misunderstanding. Maybe it will be a Armageddon-scale asteroid. Sadly it will take a rock a bit bigger than Megiddo to take out everyone of the non-Christians heathens of the specific church that is not properly genuflecting at the moment of impact. 

Maybe we will be hit by a rubble type asteroid that breaks apart into little bits of rubble and there will be a little chunk of stone for each heathen? Hard to imagine as that is a lot of effort, even for a vengeful god.

I'll say it again, disappointing...



I love Google News! It is simply the best way to find signs of the coming Apocalypse. 

Go to this link for a story about a man that is claiming that the Apocalypse is now. Either that or he is a fan of Francis Ford Coppola's film. I must admit that either of these would make a good insanity plea defense.

3/1/09

2012 a Mayan hoax?

Here is another article on 2012. Of the many I have read, this one is pretty scary. Not what you are thinking, I'm sure of it! Or maybe not... 

The author of this article actually has a funny bone. He is open to the possibility of 2012 being the end of it all. He even posits that the mighty Chuck Norris is not powerful enough to save us. Follow the link, it is a ripping good read.

I am troubled by one of Rusty's theories. It is a theory that I too thought of, which is even more troubling. How could two people, separated by the Earth's core, coincidentally come to the same Earth shattering conclusion. I writing this in Thailand while the author is in the US. I'll swear on a stack of stone Mayan calendars that we have never met.

The odds are at least 2 in ,706,993,152. 6,706,993,150 people could have had this notion too. Scary stuff. Is it just Rusty and I or are you in on the joke too? Write in the comments below if you are one of us!

The theory that Rusty and I had is that the Mayans are playing a practical joke on us. They are ending the calendar in 2012 for no particular reason other than to make us sweat. They are going to just jump out of the bushes and yell, boo! We are going to feel pretty silly if it is true.

Here is the article:

Ancient Mayan prediction won't change individual actions
By Rusty Shellhorn
THE DAILY EVERGREEN
Published: 02/24/2009
http://www.dailyevergreen.com/story/27873

End of the world in 2012 proven by 13 year old kid in Dallas

Thirteen year old proved the world will end in 2012 at a science fair. Sadly looses, proving end was actually sooner. 

Strange that this happened in Dallas. Not because there are not a lot of science gurus, but you would expect someone to prove Revelations instead.

If you know this kid, I want to interview him!

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