Meet the Doomsayer: The National Geographic Channel

The History Channel and the Christian Broadcast Network are not the only doomsaying channels. Following the money, National Geographic is doing a whole day of fear and destruction. Here is a small sampling of Saturday, October 9, 2010:

10:00am Explorer: Electronic Armageddon; The effects of a high-altitude magnetic pulse could have on infrastructure  by destroying the electronic grid.

11:00 am Naked Science: Polar Apocalypse; Cimate change affects sea levels.

12:00pm Aftermath: When the Earth Stops Spinning; Humans strugle to survive as the planet ceases to turn, throwing the climate, oceans and atmosphere into chaos.

1:00pm Aftermath: Swallowed by the Sun; The Sun ages and the world struggles to survive.

2:00pm Aftermath: Population Zero; Envisioning what Earth would be like if all 6.6 billion humans suddenly disappeared.

3:00pm Doomsday: Book of Revelation; Bible scholars and theologians help present a depiction of the Apocalypse.

4:00pm 2012: Countdown to Armageddon; A Princeton geologist travels the globe to decipher an ancient Mayan prophecy that predicts the end of the world.

5:00pm Nazi Mystery: Twins From Brazil; A town filled with blond-haired, blue-eyed twins deep in the Brazilian outback may be the result of efforts made by infamous Nazi war criminal Josef Mengele.

We'll be watching these programs with great interest. We want to see if we got it right. At Boys Books we are about to publish The Boys Book of Armageddon and I want to get the facts right. It is in the editor's hands, so we only have a few days before we go into print production mode.

Despite the eminent book publishing, we are quite interested in the National Geographic's doomsaying.

What about the sponsors? Kohler, the faucet makers, are hawking a really cool carbon fiber kitchen faucet. The Hyundai car company is pushing their Sonata. Despite no pushing their cars. Yellow Pages, yes Yellow Pages, are pushing http://YellowPages.com site. our list is rounded out with Di Giorno, makers of frozen pizza, and Travelers insurance. There are others, but we will stick with these.

Oddly these three are sponsors during the show Explorer: Electronic Armageddon. This is odd because none of these products will be useable after an electronic Armageddon. Internet is dead, car electronics are destroyed, and faucets don't work unless there is electricity to run our water pumps. Seems a little odd to us that these companies would sponsor a show about the end of the world.

We don't understand much of the economics of sponsored doomsaying. For the most part, they are getting it all wrong. Where are the freeze dried food companies, the abandoned missile silo real estate salesmen, and what about guns and ammo? I'm not going to be interested in a new car with 2012 right around the corner (unless we get the lease and that's free money when the world ends). Faucets seem silly unless they are fitted on a rain barrel with a radiation filter. Frozen pizza is fine, but only for the first couple of days as you can't keep it frozen.

The only guys that got it half right were the Yellow Pages. They showed a guy looking for classic car parts. Perhaps the understand that an old car without the fancy electronics will survive an electronic magnetic pulse.

Travelers, the insurance company, also gets a couple of points for effort. Their tagline is, "Take the scary out of life." They run this same commercial for other gloomy television programs. We seem them a lot during the History Channel's sweeps week when they too are pushing the end of the world. But imagine the problem, your car gets totaled by a meteorite, electronics fried from a solar flair, or eaten by demon. Is the Travelers company going to still be there to pay the claim?

Back to the programming. National Geographic seemed like a very science-oriented organization. But Bible and Mayan doomsaying seems a little beyond their charter. We are ok with the Sun going Nova, Russians exploding bombs in the atmosphere, the Earth not spinning, and humans vanishing. 2012 and the Bible seem out of place for a company that brought us through puberty with pictures of naked Africans (and why did they never cover naked University of Berkley students too).

As much fun as all this writing is, we need to get back to watching the doom and gloom. We have set the Tivo to record the episodes on Nazi twins and 2012. Sorry, by the playoffs with the Texas Rangers is far more important to us. Should they loose, there will be rioting in the streets and civilization is truly doomed. Everyone know that the Tampa Bay Rays are the Antichrist.


Should Scientists Be Doomsayers?

Should scientists be doomsayers? Why can't scientist just report the numbers? Seems like they sell more books when they report on results with a little color, like,"The end of the world as we know it."
They say scientists shouldn’t be out doomsaying. For heavens sake, they are putting good Christian doomsayers out of work! Scientist should just report on the ice-cube and polar bear shortage. Leave the doomsaying to the experts.
Our opinion is that it is a free market. Let’s not have any of that Tea Party socialism talk! We don’t go around saying that the Tea Party is putting hard working Fascists and bigots out of work. This is America–at least for a couple more weeks before something a scientist predicts kills us all.


Are the Mayans worried about 2012?

Are the Mayans worried about 2012? I am sure they are!!!! Imagine what happens when the world starts to end and they just think it is just a reason to start chiseling a new stone calendar?

Mayans need to also be worried about 2012 backlash. Even if the world does not end (low odds because of course this is the actual end of the world as compared to all those pretenders), what about all the minor disasters that will happen in 2012. Scientists are already predicting a larger than normal solar storm that could knock out some satellites, power grids, and auroras that could be seen as far south as Texas. Then there are the inevitable failings of small businesses, corporate corruption, hurricanes, earthquakes, political scandals, and the canceling of ABC shows that used to be good. Glenn Beck and Fox Friends will undoubtably still be on the air, so imagine how many other things these folks can blame on the Mayans?

If I were a Mayan, I'd hire a press agent and a team of anti-defimation/slander lawyers. The year 2012 may be a new age for Mayans, but the first year is going to be really rough on their reputation.


No Signs Today

It has been a whiles since I last posted. Things have been busy, but the world isn't ready to end just yet. You can see this in the press. Look at the White House and the fact that Helen Thomas seat was filled by the Associated Press (AP) rather than Fox. Things are not all skittles and beer because Fox did move up to the front row into AP's seat. Not a sign of the end, but perhaps a warning shot.

The North East is having a heat wave. A sign of global warming? Yes, warm, even hot, but we need to see the ocean boiling or Eskimo's buying air conditioners or refrigerators with built-in ice makers. Winter is a better time for global warming gloom when we are unable to count snowmen.

Every day preachers are saying the world is ending. Nothing new to see here. It is even worse because as far as I can tell, no preacher has yet blamed the British Petroleum spill in the gulf on the debauchery of Girls Gone Wild.

Yes, there is some time in this world! That's great news because the book is nearing completion. Looking for a professional editor and the book cover is getting closer to completion.

If you want to be a volunteer editor in exchange for a signed final copy, please let me know in the comments below.


Armageddon in the Classroom

At long last, schools are seeing the errors of their ways. If we are going to teach children about how they are going to die from Global Warming, we should give equal time to teaching how they are all going to die from Armageddon.


Bunkers for the Next Generation

Little holes to hide in are getting a little play in the news. The latest is in the LA Times where they profile a new condominium style of survival bunker.

But this brings up a great point. Back in the 50's and 60's, folks were digging holes in their back yards, but today we are talking condo bunkers! How the world has changed. With change comes opportunity.

There are other things to think about. Imagine what happens when the value drops out of the condo bunker market like it did for regular condos? Should you wait for adjustable mortgage rates to skyrocket and shop for a bunker in foreclosure? Wouldn't it be better to pick up maybe even a bunker that was ceased from a paranoid drug lord?

The only question you should ask is how long you should wait? A good deal on a bunker, condo-based or just a reconditioned missile silo, may not be worth waiting for. The end of the world could be here any second now and saving a couple of dimes now isn't going to help when dimes are no longer in fashion.

Another interesting notion is that people are putting down deposits on these bunker condos. The deposits are about what you would expect for an average condo, so fairly reasonable.

What about resale value? This could be another fly in the radioactive ointment for condo bunkers. Condos on the beach can go for a million dollars or more. A condo in Barstow California is not going to pull that kind of value. Condos with a great view will also garner a bigger value and being a bunker, there are no windows that far underground to have any view. Your depth underground could be part of the value, but that hardly matters when a young married couple is looking for their first home.

Another issue is getting to your bunker. One of the genius bits of a condo bunker is that they are built out of harm's way in the middle of the dessert. That also means low cost of land, soft sand to dig into, and far away from foot traffic if zombies start roaming the earth. The downside is that you can't get to your bunker unless you have a decent warning. Easy freeway access is just as important to a condo bunker as it is with any other real estate property.

I think this condo bunker is a bit of a fad anyway. Can you imagine living through the end of the world with a bunch of people so paranoid that they bought a condo bunker? It isn't like these are going to be artists, novelists, and scientists. More likely they are paranoid, delusional, and lucky that they got a spot in the condo before the condo association fees got too expensive. Can you imagine the home owner association meetings? A bunch of people screaming that the end is nigh and waving Bibles. Nothing would ever get done.

My recommendation is to just dig a hole in the back yard. Build your own bunker. Disguise it as your combination wine cellar and tornado shelter. You'll only have to worry about living out Armageddon with your family and not a bunch of crazy strangers. Best of all, you will have a great place to store your wine!


Ten Plagues Finger Puppets

Here at Boys Books, we love toys. While we are working on the Boys Book of Armageddon, we got nostalgic for the good old appocolypses of the Old Testament.

With a little searching, we found all sorts of cool things. You can buy a plague of frogs! But our favorite has to be the Passover Ten Plagues Finger Puppets.

This wondrously educational toy is fun for the whole family and you don't even need to be Jewish! It does help to be Jewish, Christian or Muslim (they believe in selected stuff of the old book too). But even an agnostic can get a thrill by pointing a plagued finger at a hated Egyptian overseer.

 The only issue with the finger puppets is that they are made with polyester. We'd prefer man made products and especially Rabbi approved blue dyes that would bring about the coming of the Jewish savior.

Each puppet is lovingly stitched (by a machine in China) with the name of the plague in question. This is very helpful as darkness is easy to understand (8 o'clock) but hail (6 o'clock) looks more like a plague of clowns and the death of the first born chid (9:30) is easily mistaken for the second born child.

Another cool little trick is the cardboard holder. This lets us hang our collection on the bagel tree for the holidays or on the front door in place of a wreath. I can recommend the door. Upon seeing this display the two nice young men with ties and bicycles didn't even dare knock on the door.

The ten plagues are rather instructive on the nature of God branded apocalypse. It seems that he/she never quite ends the world. Ten plagues would have been enough to wipe out the Egyptians, but instead they seemed to just tick them off. "Sure we will let you go, but then we will chase you into theRed Sea." Of course the sea is parted and the chase continues until the army gets a bit wet when the sea is eventually departed (love that part).

Plagues let us see two things. First, lots of threats, but the follow through is less than spectacular. Noah's flood, Sodom and Gomorrah, and the ten plagues (plus Red Sea drownings) never quite rid the world of heathens. You can bet that whenever the end comes, it is going to be a snoozer and far from perfect.

The important thing is that we have toys that celebrate a religion's hatred and intolerance for those not in their faith! Think of how cool it would be for all these plagues to befall your enemies? Isn't that cool! Our only wish is that the set came with a little Egyptian to torture. I guess we will have to pretend that our little sister is going to get all ten plagues.

Have fun! Happy Passover! Happy Easter! Happy and merry non-sectarian holidays!


Vivos - The Underground Survival Shelter

According to this article, there is a new concept in the real estate market for an End of The World Community. Think of it like a prairie dog community without any of the cute creature popping their heads up all the time. Once you are in, you are there until the radiation or whatever is killing the rest of the population goes away.

This is great news! Why build your own shelter when you can join a whole community of like-minded folks with the same doom and gloom phobias?

Sign up fast. There is only room for forty people. At $40,000 a piece, this is a lot cheaper than buying and reconditioning an ICBM missile warren.

The only problem I see is that the community is outside Barstow, California. Why would you want to survive the end of the world from one of the few places that looks like the end of the world?


Experiments for Pseudoscientists

Here are a few good experiments for budding Pseudoscientist:
  1. Ask people what it would take for them to discard a belief. Then give them what they need and see if they still believe.
  2. Compare the IQ of people that believe and not believe in a pseudoscience.
  3. Invent a fact and convince people it is real. Then show them it is not real. See how many still believe that the fact is real. 
  Is Psychoanalysis a Psuedo-Science? -- or, Karl Popper Versus Sigmund Freud

The First Sign of The End

Yep, the world started to end again. You heard it here first!

Haiti wasn't good enough for a lot of folks. Too small. Now we have the Chile earthquake. We have an apocalyptic 8.8 on the rock and roll scale. Haiti was just 7.0, but that is a strong quake for a country that has such poor housing construction.

But is 8.8 apocalyptic? Well, in 1960 the same area of Chile had a 9.5 quake and there were tsunami waves that hit Hawaii, and California. As I write this, the waves haven't hit, but there are people going to higher ground.  So, nothing new and thanks to earthquake resistant housing, Chili is faring much better than Haiti. No, this isn't apocalyptic. It is however as usual, not so good for a lot of people. It is apocalyptic for the many people affected (see Red Cross link below).

It is a great time for doomsayers. You will probably see a few dozen come out of the woodwork quoting the Mayan calendar again. Especially true given this quake hit in the Mayan neighborhood of South America. The latest earthquake is always a sign that we will see another that will tip the world spill the martinis of the evil people that infect the Earth.

I really wish doomsayers would be just a tad more creative...

I would prefer that you ignore the latest crop of doomsayers and instead, donate to the Red Cross who is really the best organization on the planet.

Vacations for Creationists

Vacations for Creationists!


World actually ended in 1886

According to the following link, the world actually ended in 1886.



Earthquakes Keep On Shaking World To End

Well, another earthquake is sending us signs that the world will end any second. This time Turkey.

Funny thing though, earthquakes happen all the time. Nothing new to see here. Why can't the dead rise from their graves or folks with 666 on their foreheads get into politics? I am getting tired of or the same old signs!


Man or Beast?

I'm doing a little research for the book cover today and came across a reference to the seven headed beast in Revelations. The fellow bloggers over at Bible & World History Timeline.  The interesting bit was this statement in regards to the the dehumanizing of a hated enemy to be no more than a beast to be killed:

The writer of Revelation saw Rome as the Seven Headed Dragon, and in fact, Satan. There was no greater monster to him than Rome. The sad fact today is that many of us still follow the example of allowing our anger to gradually remove all of the attributes of humanity from those we hate, eventually transforming them into irredeemable monsters. And of course, we can more easily kill monsters without remorse.

Truer words a hard to come by! Think of this as the opposite of giving your dog a good solid name, like Humphrey. We then further humanize the pet and it becomes our closest relative. We talk to our pets like they are people. We give them human emotions, fears, and foibles that are clearly human and not a dog (especially true for some breeds).

This humanization of our pets is so compelling that in the greatest downturn since the depression we are actual increasing our spending on our pets for everything from food to extending their lives with medicines, operation, and even chemotherapy.

So, see how powerful the humanizing of a pet is? Imagine how powerful it is to call the President a monster, a Nazi, or the Antichrist.

Speaking of the good old Nazi, did you know that they were doing the same things as the Republicans are with Democrats? Yep, dehumanizing. The Democrats are evil, etc. Soon the shooting will begin and we are off on to the predicted Apocalypse where the seven heads are seven Democratic states and the ten will be powerful Democrats. Of course the whore ridding the beast will be the President.

Hatred is just that easy. Of course, that's why you are reading this, we need to know when a bunch of hate mongers are about to end the world so that we can hunker down and wait for the Republicans to start hatting themselves.


Code Word of the Apocalypse?

Do you know the code word? Study the Bible kids! The secret word is ‘shibboleth’. This word was used way back in the Old Testament in the book of Judges to figure out who was on the side of God and to cull the good guys from the bad guys (cull means kill and is my word of the day).
Good people can pronounce shibboleth. Evil people it seems cannot pronounce the word properly and it comes out sibboleth (missing the first ‘h’).
Here is a little bit of how it played out in the Bible:
...whenever a survivor of Ephraim said, "Let me cross over," the men of Gilead asked him, "Are you an Ephraimite?" If he replied, "No," they said, "All right, say 'Shibboleth.' " He said, "Sibboleth," because he could not pronounce the word correctly, they seized him and killed him at the fords of the Jordan. Forty-two thousand Ephraimites were killed at that time.
So shibboleth works as a great evil detector. At least fourty-two thousand people were killed for being evil Ephraimites.

We assume this means you might be evil because it seemed good enough for the Israelites and God didn't correct them. There is a slight problem with the technique. Though it may detect evil, it may also catch people with a bad lisp too. Of the fourty-two thousand dead, a few might have survived if they had some speech therapy.

You should get ready now and practice saying shibboleth. Never know when you are going to be called upon.

Of course this may only work for Ephraimites who couldn’t pronounce the ‘sh’ sound. It is also rather Old Testament and used by Israelites rather than Christians. Maybe you should stick to putting a fish on the back of your SUV instead?

The shibboleth technique has been used many times over the years. For example in World War II, U.S. Soldiers asked suspected Germans what they knew about baseball. Germans, being evil, knew nothing about baseball, so the American soldiers shot them. Germans of course used strudel to detect non-Germans.


Buy This Or We Are Gone!

You have to love the 2012 entrepreneurs. Now we have a guy that is selling a bit of kitsch that will bring people in better harmonic convergence so that the 2012 alignment with the universe will be canceled out and we will all survive!

How can you beat a deal like this. You can even get it in gold or silver!!!!

I love the name of this bit of jewelry. It is called the Orgone. I am sure there are great reasons for the name, but I like: Buy this or we are gone! You can't buy subliminal advertising as precious as this!

Please buy this product and help promote 2012 entrepreneurs!


May 21st, 2011 Christians End World before Mayans

Yep, the Christians are getting competitive again. According to a Bible scholar, Harold Camping, aged 88, with a calculator, the actual end of the world is May 21st, 2011.
Harold is saying May 21st, 2011 on uTube too. The end according to some of the stuff puts us into 2010 if you take into account that there is no year zero AD, but Harold assures us that he has done the math and this time he is sure of the date.

At the wise age eighty eight, Harold Camping is a little old for a doomsayer. Odds are this fellow will live to see his end, or not as it usually is for doomsayers. Better yet, he gets to see it all twice! That's some really good cognitive dissonance, kids!

I'm sort of conflicted because of Harold's date. When do I buy my end of the world rations or convert to Harold's cult? I might need to be both a follower of the Mayan gods and Harold's Christian Revelation/Armageddon end. So I need hedge my bets on worshiping the right gods.

Occam's razor is tough business when it has those two blades. One lifts the humans off the world a bit, the other cuts them properly at their souls. You get a cleaner world that way I assume. Then the whole thing gets a slap of aftershave. Or, because it is Occam's razor, the world is not destroyed twice but the egos of the doomsayers are properly slapped down and go back to their caves to grow proper shamed-heritict beards.

Because we have those three bladed shaving monstrosities, the betting pool is now open for another doomsayer to throw an end of the world in on June 21st, 2010 at 6:28 AM CST. You heard it here first! I bet that's the longest day you'll have in 2010 too!

Back to Harold (who is clean shaven at the moment). Harold thinks he has the date right. He has a poor track record so far. Back in September, 6th of of 1994, he had folks hanging out in a Veterans center, bibles open to heaven and waiting for Christ's return.

Of course, you need to learn from failure it seems. So Harold has been working the numbers ever since. This time he thinks he has it right.

In my book, Harold is not only a doomsayer, but a cult leader too. He has an AM station in California. As we all know, AM radio is the best place for modern cult leaders to hang about. The numbers he calculates have included growing from this little Bay area AM station to 55 in the united states and others on other continents.

Not sure this guy was too good before the first failed attempt. He has been trying to create a media empire since 1958 with Family Stations Inc. Sadly there was little growth until he had his first failure at predicting the second coming.

No reason to pick a date for the end times if you can't make a dime on it. Not bad considering that back in 1994 he had dozens of followers and now it is in the millions.

There are of course debunkers of Harold. You can't blame them. More often than not, they are his fellow Christians. The amount of unconditional love of one another in Bible land! You just can't be a doomsayer without venomous critics. Go doomsayer, go!!!

There is a lot of fun out at uTube. There is Harold and his videos. but also lots of followers and debunkers. Take a look for yourself when you have some time when Heros goes on hiatus again.

The numbers of doomsayers is quite amazing. Until I ran across Harold today, I had not heard one peep about him. Of course the only time I stray into AM radio is when public radio has pledge drives. It doesn't help that we have our own bevy of doomsayers in the Dallas AM radio market.

Well, happy New Year!!! Only one more to go! ... or two, or more. The end of the world is so fickle.


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