1/9/10

Code Word of the Apocalypse?

Do you know the code word? Study the Bible kids! The secret word is ‘shibboleth’. This word was used way back in the Old Testament in the book of Judges to figure out who was on the side of God and to cull the good guys from the bad guys (cull means kill and is my word of the day).
Good people can pronounce shibboleth. Evil people it seems cannot pronounce the word properly and it comes out sibboleth (missing the first ‘h’).
Here is a little bit of how it played out in the Bible:
...whenever a survivor of Ephraim said, "Let me cross over," the men of Gilead asked him, "Are you an Ephraimite?" If he replied, "No," they said, "All right, say 'Shibboleth.' " He said, "Sibboleth," because he could not pronounce the word correctly, they seized him and killed him at the fords of the Jordan. Forty-two thousand Ephraimites were killed at that time.
So shibboleth works as a great evil detector. At least fourty-two thousand people were killed for being evil Ephraimites.

We assume this means you might be evil because it seemed good enough for the Israelites and God didn't correct them. There is a slight problem with the technique. Though it may detect evil, it may also catch people with a bad lisp too. Of the fourty-two thousand dead, a few might have survived if they had some speech therapy.

You should get ready now and practice saying shibboleth. Never know when you are going to be called upon.

Of course this may only work for Ephraimites who couldn’t pronounce the ‘sh’ sound. It is also rather Old Testament and used by Israelites rather than Christians. Maybe you should stick to putting a fish on the back of your SUV instead?

The shibboleth technique has been used many times over the years. For example in World War II, U.S. Soldiers asked suspected Germans what they knew about baseball. Germans, being evil, knew nothing about baseball, so the American soldiers shot them. Germans of course used strudel to detect non-Germans.

1/8/10

Buy This Or We Are Gone!


You have to love the 2012 entrepreneurs. Now we have a guy that is selling a bit of kitsch that will bring people in better harmonic convergence so that the 2012 alignment with the universe will be canceled out and we will all survive!

How can you beat a deal like this. You can even get it in gold or silver!!!!

I love the name of this bit of jewelry. It is called the Orgone. I am sure there are great reasons for the name, but I like: Buy this or we are gone! You can't buy subliminal advertising as precious as this!

Please buy this product and help promote 2012 entrepreneurs!





1/3/10

May 21st, 2011 Christians End World before Mayans

Yep, the Christians are getting competitive again. According to a Bible scholar, Harold Camping, aged 88, with a calculator, the actual end of the world is May 21st, 2011.
Harold is saying May 21st, 2011 on uTube too. The end according to some of the stuff puts us into 2010 if you take into account that there is no year zero AD, but Harold assures us that he has done the math and this time he is sure of the date.

At the wise age eighty eight, Harold Camping is a little old for a doomsayer. Odds are this fellow will live to see his end, or not as it usually is for doomsayers. Better yet, he gets to see it all twice! That's some really good cognitive dissonance, kids!

I'm sort of conflicted because of Harold's date. When do I buy my end of the world rations or convert to Harold's cult? I might need to be both a follower of the Mayan gods and Harold's Christian Revelation/Armageddon end. So I need hedge my bets on worshiping the right gods.

Occam's razor is tough business when it has those two blades. One lifts the humans off the world a bit, the other cuts them properly at their souls. You get a cleaner world that way I assume. Then the whole thing gets a slap of aftershave. Or, because it is Occam's razor, the world is not destroyed twice but the egos of the doomsayers are properly slapped down and go back to their caves to grow proper shamed-heritict beards.

Because we have those three bladed shaving monstrosities, the betting pool is now open for another doomsayer to throw an end of the world in on June 21st, 2010 at 6:28 AM CST. You heard it here first! I bet that's the longest day you'll have in 2010 too!

Back to Harold (who is clean shaven at the moment). Harold thinks he has the date right. He has a poor track record so far. Back in September, 6th of of 1994, he had folks hanging out in a Veterans center, bibles open to heaven and waiting for Christ's return.

Of course, you need to learn from failure it seems. So Harold has been working the numbers ever since. This time he thinks he has it right.

In my book, Harold is not only a doomsayer, but a cult leader too. He has an AM station in California. As we all know, AM radio is the best place for modern cult leaders to hang about. The numbers he calculates have included growing from this little Bay area AM station to 55 in the united states and others on other continents.

Not sure this guy was too good before the first failed attempt. He has been trying to create a media empire since 1958 with Family Stations Inc. Sadly there was little growth until he had his first failure at predicting the second coming.

No reason to pick a date for the end times if you can't make a dime on it. Not bad considering that back in 1994 he had dozens of followers and now it is in the millions.

There are of course debunkers of Harold. You can't blame them. More often than not, they are his fellow Christians. The amount of unconditional love of one another in Bible land! You just can't be a doomsayer without venomous critics. Go doomsayer, go!!!


There is a lot of fun out at uTube. There is Harold and his videos. but also lots of followers and debunkers. Take a look for yourself when you have some time when Heros goes on hiatus again.

The numbers of doomsayers is quite amazing. Until I ran across Harold today, I had not heard one peep about him. Of course the only time I stray into AM radio is when public radio has pledge drives. It doesn't help that we have our own bevy of doomsayers in the Dallas AM radio market.

Well, happy New Year!!! Only one more to go! ... or two, or more. The end of the world is so fickle.

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