Apocalyptic Waffles

Ah waffles. The great thing about waffles are the little holes that hold the syrup and other goodness. Without those wonderful holes, waffles would just be square pancakes.

Waffles are also great because of the term: waffling. Wikipedia says that waffling was originally "defined as language without meaning; blathering, babbling, droning." You know it as nonsense. Also according to Wikipedia, the term waffling comes from originally from: "waff[1], a 17th-century onomatopoeia for the sound a barking dog makes, similar to the modern woof. Although the relationship between a dog's bark and indecisiveness is unclear, the inference is that waffle words have about as much meaning as the noise made by a dog barking."

Yes, waffling means 'barking nonsense'.

Waffling also means changing your mind to curry favor. Politicians waffle as often as the public opinion poles change. Waffling is about popularity. The best way to win an election is to appear to have the same opinion as a majority of your constituents. But that's a subject to cover in The Boys Book of Politics, commming soon. We want to use waffling today to talk about Cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance, is when the brain figures out it is an idiot and takes action. There are only two types of action, either you accept you are an idiot or you come up with some reason to defend remaining an idiot. No matter how much evidence is against your world view, you come up with some rationalization that lets you feel ok with being an idiot and having the same beliefs.

You might wonder why someone would rationalize their continuing to be an idiot. The answer is simple: We don't want to look like idiots. Soft of like eating waffles when you are type II diabetic. Waffles are bad for you, but that's ok because they taste so good!

In other, and totally unrelated to waffle news, Harold Camping says the Apocalypse he predicted with much hand waving was invisible. Sort of like the Grand Convergence of the planets and other predicted ends of the world, it isn't about what happens, rather how you feel when the world doesn't actually end. Harold calls it a "spiritual' apocalypse.

If May 21st 2011 isn't an apocalypse you can touch, when do we get the real 3D experience of the end of the world? According to Harold, October 21, 2011. Four months from now, we can all skip paying the utility bills, not show up to work, or leave the toilet seat up. nobody will care because nobody will be on Earth.

Here at Boys Books, we think the world ending in October, instead of May, is a good thing. We now have four months to eat those delectable waffles.

CDC and the Zombie Apocalypse

Hooray! The CDC has just started an awareness campain to prepair the public for a Zombie Apocalypse. Here's where you can get more info at the CDC.

We think this is good news. It means that you have a chance! Just stock up on canned food, water, have a first aid kit and a plan. Of course it helps to have a herding dog. Herding dogs don't bite their flock. Herding zombies with a sheep dog is safer for you and your dog.

Sadly the CDC fails to point out this very important information. That's ok, just order our book and listen to the CDC for further details

I survived May 21. 2011

Hooray! I am damned. Too bad everyone else is too.

Everyone on the Earth today, including the great Harold Camping, seems to be 'left behind'.

That's good news because there is still time for you to read my book. Here is the final cover!

May 21st, 2011: Christians, please send me your money

Yes, we are close to another end of the world. This time the doomsayer is Harold Camping. According to his math, the end of the world starts May 21st, 2011. At that time, all the good Christians will be instantly in Heaven and the rest of us will be left behind.

To make things easier, please contact me as soon as possible to turn over all your money, homes, cars, boats, etc. As you will soon be in Heaven, you won't need any of these things. We here at Boys Books Publishing are fairly sure we are out of luck and could really use your stuff during the end times.

You might ask, "Why should I give a sinner all my stuff?" Well, think of it as 1) a sign of your faith that you are so sure that the end is upon us, you are willing to take out a bet of all your wealth. 2) All the sinners are going to die in very messy and tortuous ways, and it will be even worse if we are so obviously greedy by owning your stuff. 3) Donating to your church or cult is silly because everyone else you know will be in Heaven anyway.

We are also happy to adopt and care for your animals too. God has no room for pets, just the deformed monsters you read about in Revelation. If your pet isn't a sheep with many eyes inside and out, why not keep them safe by signing over your goods now along with your pets. That way we will have a few resources to care for your pets.

The end is near! Please act as soon as possible so that the check clears before the 21st!!!

Dangerous Airwaves: Harold Camping Refuted and Christ's Church Defended