Worried about your pets? What about an Atheist pet sitter?

Don't let your pets suffer when you get taken up to heaven! Why not reserve a place in a great new service provided by the heathan athiests to care and feed your pet?

Here is a link to the service: Eternal Earthbound Pets.

Laughing (Gas) at the End of the World

Imagine, you are living in a steaming hot house without your CFC and bad hair because there is no CFC laden hair spray. But you look up and their is still an ozone hole! What's up?

Apparently laughing gas (N2O) is the new threat to the Earth's ozone. Who knew that modern dentistry started the apocalypse.

Not only dentists are causing you to get that tan to the bone look, but fertilizers and sewage treatment plants are culprits too. So growing plants, then processing the result of eating those plants are a double threat. It is a triple threat if you do this on a supersonic jet which also causes laughing gas (who knew super sonic jets could cause a laugh?).

Look for a ban on fertilizer and painless dentistry and jets. I'll bet that Republicans are going to be fighting those restrictions! Forget four horses of the Apocalypse, ozone is a quick shortcut to end the world quickly. In fact, forget bans, look for Republicans to start supporting laughing gas subsides.

No money for Armageddon

NASA says that they are running out of money to hunt for Armageddon asteroids.

That's just not good. Not good at all.

Why isn't it good? Simply because we can't panic ahead of time. Armageddon isn't any fun if you can't panic. All you would have is the Sun being blotted out by a rock the size of Walla Walla Washington and then the last thing you see is your feet as said rock flattens you to mush. Hardly any time for panic in the streets.

Obviously we could divert an asteroid headed our way. I doubt that there is any possibility we ever would though. Republican fanatics would be putting Hitler mustaches on Obama for trying to save us. Republican congressmen would deadlock on the price for diverting an asteroid that would meet their need for Armageddon. Even the Democrats would be spouting 'laws of nature' and we would still be so much mayonnaise between crunchy earth and crunchy asteroid.

This is also bad for the fear mongers and end of the world cults. It would be absolutely incredible to have an honest to god confirmed threat. No more guessing. Just honest info and a date for the end of the world plus or minus four and a half minutes.

Please O' please, write your congressman, especially the Republicans, for some money for NASA. We need our advanced warning of the end times!

Zombie Math!

At last, we have some Zombie science! There is now a mathematical formula for Zombies.