No money for Armageddon

NASA says that they are running out of money to hunt for Armageddon asteroids.

That's just not good. Not good at all.

Why isn't it good? Simply because we can't panic ahead of time. Armageddon isn't any fun if you can't panic. All you would have is the Sun being blotted out by a rock the size of Walla Walla Washington and then the last thing you see is your feet as said rock flattens you to mush. Hardly any time for panic in the streets.

Obviously we could divert an asteroid headed our way. I doubt that there is any possibility we ever would though. Republican fanatics would be putting Hitler mustaches on Obama for trying to save us. Republican congressmen would deadlock on the price for diverting an asteroid that would meet their need for Armageddon. Even the Democrats would be spouting 'laws of nature' and we would still be so much mayonnaise between crunchy earth and crunchy asteroid.

This is also bad for the fear mongers and end of the world cults. It would be absolutely incredible to have an honest to god confirmed threat. No more guessing. Just honest info and a date for the end of the world plus or minus four and a half minutes.

Please O' please, write your congressman, especially the Republicans, for some money for NASA. We need our advanced warning of the end times!

Twittering the Asteroid Appocolypse

Ah, technology. That sweet, sweet smell of electronically delivered panic to your computer or even your iPhone. At long last, you can now get a twitter feed of asteroids and be the first in your office to know when the killer asteroid is coming our way.

The folks at NASA now have a twitter account for announcing asteroid tracks. Here is the link:

http://twitter.com/asteroidwatch

Better yet, why not get the new asteroiod widget for your Mac? Not only do you know what ateroids are out there, but you also get a handy guide to how big they are. For example, August 8th 2009, there will be an asteroid passing us the size of a four story building! That's putting the gravity of the situation right on the old Apple!

Another Asteroid Misses Earth, Cancel Apocalypse

Damn, I hate it when Apocalypse passes by.

The problem however is that this little asteroid that folks are talking about isn't going to cause Apocalypse. Well, at least not according to some false reports the referenced asteroid was of an Armageddon-scale. The problem is that a lot of folks hear asteroid and Earth and do some very poor math to scare the poop out of people. 

At 60 meters, this asteroid is not a killer, just a mass murderer of inconvenience. If it hit far out in the ocean it may not even ripple a wave on a beach. If it hit a small town, maybe wipe it out. Largish cities would just have a day of horrible traffic. It wouldn't be a slow news day, but the next day would be really slow except for reporters interviewing astronomers and disappointed end-of-the-world freaks waiting for something bigger.

The worst issue is the obvious misunderstanding of the reporter of the actual size of Armageddon. Armageddon, or Mount Megiddo as its friends and souvenir shops call it, is located in Israel. 

This asteroid doesn't even register on that scale. At 60 meters the asteroid is less than 1% on the Armageddon-scale. Disappointing in both reporting accuracy and that there is no apocalypse coming, even if this asteroid is circling back for another shot at us.

Megiddo A.K.A. Armageddon isn't 60 meters. Megiddo is a smallish hill that is at least 500 by 1,000 meters based on my reckoning using Google maps. If such a Megiddo hill came from outer space, and then hit us, that would be on Armageddon-scale. In fact, you could call it a "One" on the Armageddon-scale. 

Megiddo is really just a short pile of rubble (as are many asteroids which is a scary coincidence) that has thousands of years of history. Through a process of multiple wars and cities built on destroyed cities, Megiddo has become a hill.

  

They say this is where the last battle of good and evil will take place. Maybe. Maybe that was a typo or misunderstanding. Maybe it will be a Armageddon-scale asteroid. Sadly it will take a rock a bit bigger than Megiddo to take out everyone of the non-Christians heathens of the specific church that is not properly genuflecting at the moment of impact. 

Maybe we will be hit by a rubble type asteroid that breaks apart into little bits of rubble and there will be a little chunk of stone for each heathen? Hard to imagine as that is a lot of effort, even for a vengeful god.

I'll say it again, disappointing...