Code Word of the Apocalypse?

Do you know the code word? Study the Bible kids! The secret word is ‘shibboleth’. This word was used way back in the Old Testament in the book of Judges to figure out who was on the side of God and to cull the good guys from the bad guys (cull means kill and is my word of the day).
Good people can pronounce shibboleth. Evil people it seems cannot pronounce the word properly and it comes out sibboleth (missing the first ‘h’).
Here is a little bit of how it played out in the Bible:

...whenever a survivor of Ephraim said, "Let me cross over," the men of Gilead asked him, "Are you an Ephraimite?" If he replied, "No," they said, "All right, say 'Shibboleth.' " He said, "Sibboleth," because he could not pronounce the word correctly, they seized him and killed him at the fords of the Jordan. Forty-two thousand Ephraimites were killed at that time.

So shibboleth works as a great evil detector. At least fourty-two thousand people were killed for being evil Ephraimites.

We assume this means you might be evil because it seemed good enough for the Israelites and God didn't correct them. There is a slight problem with the technique. Though it may detect evil, it may also catch people with a bad lisp too. Of the fourty-two thousand dead, a few might have survived if they had some speech therapy.

You should get ready now and practice saying shibboleth. Never know when you are going to be called upon.

Of course this may only work for Ephraimites who couldn’t pronounce the ‘sh’ sound. It is also rather Old Testament and used by Israelites rather than Christians. Maybe you should stick to putting a fish on the back of your SUV instead?

The shibboleth technique has been used many times over the years. For example in World War II, U.S. Soldiers asked suspected Germans what they knew about baseball. Germans, being evil, knew nothing about baseball, so the American soldiers shot them. Germans of course used strudel to detect non-Germans.

Now Illegal in Ireland: Religion

In Ireland, it is now illegal to write/publish/speak anything critical of religion. In fact, there is a 25,000 Euro fine for each offense.

According to their definition “Blasphemous matter” is “that is grossly abusive or insulting in relation to matters held sacred by any religion, thereby causing outrage among a substantial number of the adherents of that religion; and he or she intends, by the publication of the matter concerned, to cause such outrage.”

Although Richard Dawkins is up in arms about this, the law sort of creates a stalemate. Most, if not all true religions (true as in taking tax write-offs verses those found in a mental ward) are blasphemous to other religions.

So, the teachings of Christians is blasphemous to Islam and vis versa and so on. If you count the Atheists, with their cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or the Celestial Teapots is insulting to everyone else. Strangely as a right of those that 'believe' in Atheism (a true religion based on it's non-profit status), it is a basic tenet of their religion to be blasphemous of other religions.

You have the right first to be religious. That means you have the right to be blasphemous of all but your religion. But you can't be blasphemous of another religion because that might make someone mad. Q.E.D. religion has been outlawed by Ireland.

One could hope that Ireland's government would be sucked into a black hole of contradictions. No such luck. Sadly most elected officials deny the existence of black holes - I base this on their budgets and campaign promises.

What does this all mean? Well, there go the publishing rights for my book in Ireland. Even humor books are considered a spoiler for some religions.

I'll also avoid any travel to the Emerald Isle as they can use any reasonable force and confiscation of such materials to enforce this law. There would be storm troopers awaiting my arrival donning rubber gloves and and evil smile. Ultimately the greatest loss: Kissing the Blarney Stone is now off my bucket list.

I'd use a little profanity, but I hear that's blasphemous too.