Ten Reasons to be a Survivalist Hoarder

Ten Reasons to be a Survivalist Hoarder

1) Because when you go off your diet, you won't be tempted to eat the cardboard flavored ready-to-eat meals.
2) Finally a reason to use the pool room!
3) What hoard?
4) Your neighbors will have a good source of food after they steal your horde.
5) You can be happy knowing that you have helped an entrepreneur that prays on the fear of borders.
6) When you catch the plague, the piles of supplies will limit your contact with the rest of the world, saving countless lives.
5) The canned Peaches can double as radiation shielding.
4) You'll be 3 months late to Heaven (and or Hell because you weren't worth saving).
3) You'll have three months of food and supplies and three months to live in a world not worth living in.
2) You'll be the envy of your neighbors when everyone on Earth is dead.
1) You can be a star on the show, Doomsday Preppers, on the National Geographic Channel!

Read the book: Boys Book of Armageddon for more great tips! http://BoysBookofArmageddon

Bruce the Doomsayer on History Channel

Bruce Bueno de Mesquita (Bruce the Good Mosquito), gets credited on Brad Meltzer's Decoded: 2012 for predicting that the world will end in 2012. Once again, the History Channel does not seem to be able to actually talk to the man. We believe he is in a CIA bunker.

We were finally able to hear Bruce's voice, but at TED. Here is the video:Bruce Bueno de Mesquita predicts Iran's future | Video on TED.com. Not exactly doomsaying, but interesting. There is another video on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart that is at least funny.

We just ordered Bruce's last book: The Predictioneer's Game: Using the Logic of Brazen Self-Interest to See and Shape the Future. There is a lot of info in this book that would let you do what Bruce does, predict doom. We have our own end of the world prediction software half written!

Oddly, the key part of Bruce's technique is game theory. We would have preferred pseudoscience or religion. We would have been happy with throwing the finger bones of a hanged man too. This math stuff gets in the way of fear, uncertainty, and doubt you need for proper doomsaying. How do you get people to run naked and screaming in the streets when the result is 2.3.

Bunkers for the Next Generation

Little holes to hide in are getting a little play in the news. The latest is in the LA Times where they profile a new condominium style of survival bunker.

But this brings up a great point. Back in the 50's and 60's, folks were digging holes in their back yards, but today we are talking condo bunkers! How the world has changed. With change comes opportunity.

There are other things to think about. Imagine what happens when the value drops out of the condo bunker market like it did for regular condos? Should you wait for adjustable mortgage rates to skyrocket and shop for a bunker in foreclosure? Wouldn't it be better to pick up maybe even a bunker that was ceased from a paranoid drug lord?

The only question you should ask is how long you should wait? A good deal on a bunker, condo-based or just a reconditioned missile silo, may not be worth waiting for. The end of the world could be here any second now and saving a couple of dimes now isn't going to help when dimes are no longer in fashion.

Another interesting notion is that people are putting down deposits on these bunker condos. The deposits are about what you would expect for an average condo, so fairly reasonable.

What about resale value? This could be another fly in the radioactive ointment for condo bunkers. Condos on the beach can go for a million dollars or more. A condo in Barstow California is not going to pull that kind of value. Condos with a great view will also garner a bigger value and being a bunker, there are no windows that far underground to have any view. Your depth underground could be part of the value, but that hardly matters when a young married couple is looking for their first home.

Another issue is getting to your bunker. One of the genius bits of a condo bunker is that they are built out of harm's way in the middle of the dessert. That also means low cost of land, soft sand to dig into, and far away from foot traffic if zombies start roaming the earth. The downside is that you can't get to your bunker unless you have a decent warning. Easy freeway access is just as important to a condo bunker as it is with any other real estate property.

I think this condo bunker is a bit of a fad anyway. Can you imagine living through the end of the world with a bunch of people so paranoid that they bought a condo bunker? It isn't like these are going to be artists, novelists, and scientists. More likely they are paranoid, delusional, and lucky that they got a spot in the condo before the condo association fees got too expensive. Can you imagine the home owner association meetings? A bunch of people screaming that the end is nigh and waving Bibles. Nothing would ever get done.

My recommendation is to just dig a hole in the back yard. Build your own bunker. Disguise it as your combination wine cellar and tornado shelter. You'll only have to worry about living out Armageddon with your family and not a bunch of crazy strangers. Best of all, you will have a great place to store your wine!

Code Word of the Apocalypse?

Do you know the code word? Study the Bible kids! The secret word is ‘shibboleth’. This word was used way back in the Old Testament in the book of Judges to figure out who was on the side of God and to cull the good guys from the bad guys (cull means kill and is my word of the day).
Good people can pronounce shibboleth. Evil people it seems cannot pronounce the word properly and it comes out sibboleth (missing the first ‘h’).
Here is a little bit of how it played out in the Bible:

...whenever a survivor of Ephraim said, "Let me cross over," the men of Gilead asked him, "Are you an Ephraimite?" If he replied, "No," they said, "All right, say 'Shibboleth.' " He said, "Sibboleth," because he could not pronounce the word correctly, they seized him and killed him at the fords of the Jordan. Forty-two thousand Ephraimites were killed at that time.

So shibboleth works as a great evil detector. At least fourty-two thousand people were killed for being evil Ephraimites.

We assume this means you might be evil because it seemed good enough for the Israelites and God didn't correct them. There is a slight problem with the technique. Though it may detect evil, it may also catch people with a bad lisp too. Of the fourty-two thousand dead, a few might have survived if they had some speech therapy.

You should get ready now and practice saying shibboleth. Never know when you are going to be called upon.

Of course this may only work for Ephraimites who couldn’t pronounce the ‘sh’ sound. It is also rather Old Testament and used by Israelites rather than Christians. Maybe you should stick to putting a fish on the back of your SUV instead?

The shibboleth technique has been used many times over the years. For example in World War II, U.S. Soldiers asked suspected Germans what they knew about baseball. Germans, being evil, knew nothing about baseball, so the American soldiers shot them. Germans of course used strudel to detect non-Germans.

Buy This Or We Are Gone!

You have to love the 2012 entrepreneurs. Now we have a guy that is selling a bit of kitsch that will bring people in better harmonic convergence so that the 2012 alignment with the universe will be canceled out and we will all survive!

How can you beat a deal like this. You can even get it in gold or silver!!!!

I love the name of this bit of jewelry. It is called the Orgone. I am sure there are great reasons for the name, but I like: Buy this or we are gone! You can't buy subliminal advertising as precious as this!

Please buy this product and help promote 2012 entrepreneurs!

2012 Theory Flushed?

The Mayans had flush toilets! That's what the report at LiveScience.com says. Indoor plumbing is a hallmark of an advanced civilization which is a code phrase for smart guys. Does that mean that the theory of the world ending in 2012 because of the Mayan calendar is correct? Given that these toilets were not the same two flush, eco toilets that we have, that at least makes the Mayans smarter than us.

But look at this another way... If Mayans had toilets, maybe that was just enough information to divine the end of the universe by measuring the impact of the galaxy on the flow of toilet water as maze laden logs swirled to the nether regions of hell.

Of course there is the Coriolis effect. This is the idea that the direction that your toilet spirals as it drains are influenced by being up here or down under. Are there other forces at work? Is this really how Mayans predicted the seasons and movement of stars and planets? Could this too be how they came up with 2012?

But(t) do Mayan toilets really help figure out that the world will be ripped apart by a galactic alignment? Does the direction and velocity of an ancient peoples pee and poo indicate the presence of a killer planet X or the Earth's poles shifting its axis?

I am often asked, "Are you totally stupid?" Other times people just giggle and point in my general direction. The fact is, we have no evidence that Mayans didn't use their flush toilets as the basis for their astronomy.

Could toilet dynamics have predicted the existence of Uranus before 1781? Or was the flush toilet out of reach of most astronomers? Could the Mayans have predicted the same, or did that see this as pointless once they discovered the end of the world and put a kibosh on the program to put a Mayan on the Moon by June?

Next time you flush, look closely. Is there a slight tug to the left? Is that the end you are seeing as you benefit from the greatest invention of mankind?

NASA = Not Another Stupid Armageddon

NASA is at it again. This time they have a whole web site dedicated to debunking the end of the world in 2012. Ipso facto: The world will end.

If NASA says it isn't true, you know there is a conspiracy. Yes, another nail in the coffin that proves unashamedly that the world is ending.

With conspiracies, it is hard to prove they really are there. It has been said that the best way to make something secret is to not say anything at all, even a lie. NASA does rockets, so they don't do the conspiracy thing very well. Worse they have many facts wrong.

The first issue is Armageddon itself. I have written here before that that Armageddon is a place. So it is very difficult to say a place won't happen. Of course, even more telling, they don't mention Armageddon on the web page. That's very telling.

Better yet, NASA is trying to prove a negative. They are saying that they don't have any evidence of the end of the world and thus can't prove the world will 'not' end. Shame on NASA.

My best evidence is related to part of the web page:

Q: Does the Mayan calendar end in December 2012?
A: Just as the calendar you have on your kitchen wall does not cease to exist after December 31, the Mayan calendar does not cease to exist on December 21, 2012. This date is the end of the Mayan long-count period but then -- just as your calendar begins again on January 1 -- another long-count period begins for the Mayan calendar.

NASA is just grasping at straws by answering like this. First of all, how do they know I have a calendar in my kitchen? Is this technological fallout of the Mars rover that let's them spy on my kitchen calendar? But spying aside, they didn't look too close at my calendar. They say it just ends, but my calendar has a mini calendar for next year. It even has a web address for ordering a new calendar with new pretty pictures for next year. I have seen no evidence that the Mayan calendar has any such thing. NASA is just barking up the wrong calendar!

But things get worse! At the end of the article they point to other websites for debunking 2012. For example: http://www.badastronomy.com/bad/misc/planetx/nutshell.html. Bad Astronomy is a great website on astronomy, but not exactly a reference site for the Mayan calendar. Sloppy if you ask me. NASA needs some better writers for their anti-conspiracy-conspiracy web content.

There was one great piece of the website that I loved: The prediction that the world would end on May, 2003 from being destroyed by the wayward planet Nibiru (also known as Planet X). I had not heard of this prediction before. Curious... Does that mean NASA knew, but are just now telling us? Very curious.

All in all, this may be sort of overkill attributing conspiracy to cover up the end of the world. They also predicted that man would travel to Mars before our computers were destroyed by Y2K. NASA may have gotten us to the Moon, but they are poor at prediction. If you think about it, maybe this is their plan... NASA is bad about prediction, so the web page must be wrong, therefore it is true because it is real. Think about it!

Mayan Prophesy to end Frisbee Golf Debate

To some, the end of the world in 2012 is a good thing. An editorial at the Chico Enterprise Record puts to the readers that a debate about a park in Chico California is so bad that he would love the 2012 prophesy to come true so that the debate can end.

I must say, that has to be one ugly debate. Fisbee Golf must have bigger fans and opponents than we imagined. My parents live near Chico, so I hope there is no violence.

This leads us to speculate. Maybe the reason the Mayans predicted 2012 as the end of the world is that they new of the coming conflagration of Frisbee golfers and the city of Chico was coming to the flash point.

History lends a clue. The Frisbee is a much older concept than many people know. It has been used as a thrown weapon long ago by several cultures. Even the US Army is working to enhance this ancient weapon. The simple fact is that the Frisbee Golf advocates could begin manufacturing these weapons or even contract out manufacture to an aerospace company to create powerful versions that could end the world.

If you see flying disks of death and live near Chino California, you will know the end is near. Hopefully, like normal golf, the Frisbee guys should yell "fore" before they throw the first blow in the last battle to end all battles.

Mayan's Prove Superiority with Stucco

Stucco is the height of civiliztion. They built pyramids, but they new the science of stucco. Truely the Mayans were an advanced people. Perhaps stucco is the science that proves they could predict the end of the world better than others?


http://cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2009/03/12/1833838.aspx

Missed Appointments or 2012 another false alarm

Skeptics are way too skeptical. Case in point is Dylan Otto Krider and his latest blog on 2012. He posits that we have a lot of missed appointments with doom. It is as if Dylan is saying that because of all the other predicted ends of time, we can probably write off 2012 as just another missed appointment as well.

I despise this sort of thinking. Sort of like how I despise mayonnaise - especially at picnics when in the potato salad! That stuff is freaking dangerous. It is just raw egg, lemon and oil. Raw egg mixed with potatoes brewing salmonella in the hot sun! Mayonnaise is the devil's spawn... Anyway, I hate it when skeptics throw the track record of doomsayers about willy nilly. 

Is 2012 a false alarm? Are we going to hit the SNOOZE button of the apocalyptic clock? 

Maybe that is exactly why we haven't seen the apocalypse. The gods that made the appointment and just missed missed it due to oversleeping or were caught in a traffic jam at the appointed hour. Why can't skeptics look at the other side of the missing coin? 

Dylan is right. There have been a lot of doomsayers that have predicted the apocalypse and missed the mark. No arguments there. But we might get lucky this time. The odds are a few billion to one, but if we hit that one... At last the world will be rid of mayo because there will be nobody left that knows the recipe.

A few good links from Dylan:

Top 10 Failed Apocalyptic Predictions. 

A Brief History of the Apocalypse (Now my favorite site)
From USA Today, an article debunking 2012

2012 a Mayan hoax?

Here is another article on 2012. Of the many I have read, this one is pretty scary. Not what you are thinking, I'm sure of it! Or maybe not... 

The author of this article actually has a funny bone. He is open to the possibility of 2012 being the end of it all. He even posits that the mighty Chuck Norris is not powerful enough to save us. Follow the link, it is a ripping good read.

I am troubled by one of Rusty's theories. It is a theory that I too thought of, which is even more troubling. How could two people, separated by the Earth's core, coincidentally come to the same Earth shattering conclusion. I writing this in Thailand while the author is in the US. I'll swear on a stack of stone Mayan calendars that we have never met.

The odds are at least 2 in ,706,993,152. 6,706,993,150 people could have had this notion too. Scary stuff. Is it just Rusty and I or are you in on the joke too? Write in the comments below if you are one of us!

The theory that Rusty and I had is that the Mayans are playing a practical joke on us. They are ending the calendar in 2012 for no particular reason other than to make us sweat. They are going to just jump out of the bushes and yell, boo! We are going to feel pretty silly if it is true.

Here is the article:

Ancient Mayan prediction won't change individual actions
By Rusty Shellhorn
THE DAILY EVERGREEN
Published: 02/24/2009
http://www.dailyevergreen.com/story/27873

End of the world in 2012 proven by 13 year old kid in Dallas

Thirteen year old proved the world will end in 2012 at a science fair. Sadly looses, proving end was actually sooner. 

Strange that this happened in Dallas. Not because there are not a lot of science gurus, but you would expect someone to prove Revelations instead.

If you know this kid, I want to interview him!

More 2012. Score: Humanity 3, Mayans 0.

More news of 2012 is starting to flow. Let's look at three articles today.

Science appears to contradict Mayan 2012 doomsday

By DESMOND LAWE

http://www.northernstar.info/article/6622/

Oh dear. You can tell form the tittle that things are not looking good for the Mayans. Here they were, getting ready for the end of the world, and then nothing. I hate it when that happens. Happeed to me in 2000. Afraid to go party and stayed home with my weapons and canned food. According to the article, the best hopes are a planetary/galactic alignment that will tear the Earth apart. Sorry all debunked by the article. 

I can still hope that the Mayan gods are listening. What is prophesy without fulfillment? Yeah there will be a great party in 2012, but who wants to live through the next day's hangover?

I find it silly that you need any type of astronomy for a god to come down and destroy the Earth. Look at Star Trek for all the examples you need. All that is required is a super being or a really big bomb or both. As long as you don't have Spock or Kirk to foil your plans, you are golden. Given that old Trek was canceled decades ago and that they were only fictional characters anyway, the Mayan gods can just wipe out the Earth without a peep from us.  

On to the next article:

Geologists Debunk Apocalyptic Prophecy

Pole Shift Gains Popularity; Science Clashes with Society

February 25, 2009 By Leigha Kemmett

http://cornellsun.com/node/35108

More bad news. Possibilities of the magnetic poles shifting is debunked along with other theories. Of course these are scientists. They think that just because they can make a car that will go 100,000 miles without a tuneup, that they can predict the behavior of Mayan gods. Hubris I say!