No Signs Today

It has been a whiles since I last posted. Things have been busy, but the world isn't ready to end just yet. You can see this in the press. Look at the White House and the fact that Helen Thomas seat was filled by the Associated Press (AP) rather than Fox. Things are not all skittles and beer because Fox did move up to the front row into AP's seat. Not a sign of the end, but perhaps a warning shot.

The North East is having a heat wave. A sign of global warming? Yes, warm, even hot, but we need to see the ocean boiling or Eskimo's buying air conditioners or refrigerators with built-in ice makers. Winter is a better time for global warming gloom when we are unable to count snowmen.

Every day preachers are saying the world is ending. Nothing new to see here. It is even worse because as far as I can tell, no preacher has yet blamed the British Petroleum spill in the gulf on the debauchery of Girls Gone Wild.

Yes, there is some time in this world! That's great news because the book is nearing completion. Looking for a professional editor and the book cover is getting closer to completion.

If you want to be a volunteer editor in exchange for a signed final copy, please let me know in the comments below.

Buy This Or We Are Gone!

You have to love the 2012 entrepreneurs. Now we have a guy that is selling a bit of kitsch that will bring people in better harmonic convergence so that the 2012 alignment with the universe will be canceled out and we will all survive!

How can you beat a deal like this. You can even get it in gold or silver!!!!

I love the name of this bit of jewelry. It is called the Orgone. I am sure there are great reasons for the name, but I like: Buy this or we are gone! You can't buy subliminal advertising as precious as this!

Please buy this product and help promote 2012 entrepreneurs!

May 21st, 2011 Christians End World before Mayans

Yep, the Christians are getting competitive again. According to a Bible scholar, Harold Camping, aged 88, with a calculator, the actual end of the world is May 21st, 2011.

Harold is saying May 21st, 2011 on uTube too. The end according to some of the stuff puts us into 2010 if you take into account that there is no year zero AD, but Harold assures us that he has done the math and this time he is sure of the date.

At the wise age eighty eight, Harold Camping is a little old for a doomsayer. Odds are this fellow will live to see his end, or not as it usually is for doomsayers. Better yet, he gets to see it all twice! That's some really good cognitive dissonance, kids!

I'm sort of conflicted because of Harold's date. When do I buy my end of the world rations or convert to Harold's cult? I might need to be both a follower of the Mayan gods and Harold's Christian Revelation/Armageddon end. So I need hedge my bets on worshiping the right gods.

Occam's razor is tough business when it has those two blades. One lifts the humans off the world a bit, the other cuts them properly at their souls. You get a cleaner world that way I assume. Then the whole thing gets a slap of aftershave. Or, because it is Occam's razor, the world is not destroyed twice but the egos of the doomsayers are properly slapped down and go back to their caves to grow proper shamed-heritict beards.

Because we have those three bladed shaving monstrosities, the betting pool is now open for another doomsayer to throw an end of the world in on June 21st, 2010 at 6:28 AM CST. You heard it here first! I bet that's the longest day you'll have in 2010 too!

Back to Harold (who is clean shaven at the moment). Harold thinks he has the date right. He has a poor track record so far. Back in September, 6th of of 1994, he had folks hanging out in a Veterans center, bibles open to heaven and waiting for Christ's return.

Of course, you need to learn from failure it seems. So Harold has been working the numbers ever since. This time he thinks he has it right.

In my book, Harold is not only a doomsayer, but a cult leader too. He has an AM station in California. As we all know, AM radio is the best place for modern cult leaders to hang about. The numbers he calculates have included growing from this little Bay area AM station to 55 in the united states and others on other continents.

Not sure this guy was too good before the first failed attempt. He has been trying to create a media empire since 1958 with Family Stations Inc. Sadly there was little growth until he had his first failure at predicting the second coming.

No reason to pick a date for the end times if you can't make a dime on it. Not bad considering that back in 1994 he had dozens of followers and now it is in the millions.

There are of course debunkers of Harold. You can't blame them. More often than not, they are his fellow Christians. The amount of unconditional love of one another in Bible land! You just can't be a doomsayer without venomous critics. Go doomsayer, go!!!

There is a lot of fun out at uTube. There is Harold and his videos. but also lots of followers and debunkers. Take a look for yourself when you have some time when Heros goes on hiatus again.

The numbers of doomsayers is quite amazing. Until I ran across Harold today, I had not heard one peep about him. Of course the only time I stray into AM radio is when public radio has pledge drives. It doesn't help that we have our own bevy of doomsayers in the Dallas AM radio market.

Well, happy New Year!!! Only one more to go! ... or two, or more. The end of the world is so fickle.

A Lack of Comets

I follow a lot of end of the world news. That's what we do here. Sadly though, things are just not getting bad, they are getting less bad. The economic Armageddon is sputtering, Obama isn't the socialism antichrist, and Bush... Well, Bush can't press the button anymore (we had such high hopes!!!). Now it is comets here or rather not here to disappoint us.

Thanks to a news blog out at our friends of Discovery.com, comets have been found to be less likely to kill us. Let's get busy with the key quote: "A comet from the deep space far beyond Pluto probably won’t smash into the Earth and obliterate all life." Isn't that just terrible?

Just so you don't have to follow the link, let me explain. Scientists ran computer simulations that showed that the odds of a comet hitting us is low. How low? About 3 hits for a half billion years of waiting. Worse still, these are probably not even big hits, just wimpy snowballs.

How come we don't get any comet joy? Well, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, and Uranus tend to eat comets. Jupiter probably gobbled up one just recently and was caught busy munching on a comet in 2000.

There is a possibility that these calculations are wrong. Scientists used computers to do the calculation. Perhaps this is our future computer overlords very logical method of pulling the wool over our eyes so that when the big comet hits they have less work to do to subjugate humanity.

I guess we need to look to green fields again for ways the world could end. My new theory is that Glenn Beck of Fox News is the Antichrist. I hear he is a Mormon, so kind of dodgy in the religion department. Combine the letters of the name 'and' Fox New and you get 616 (616 is the actual number of the beast according to recent discoveries). He does work for Fox News and they supported the last candidate for being the Antichrist (or several if you squint). Sorry Glenn, without a good comet you are the only show in town.

Armageddon Bullshit? Teller isn't saying!

Just when you thought it was safe to watch TV, Penn and Teller start calling the 2012 end of the world "bullshit". Damn.

Death by solar flares, planet X, and Mayan princesses are apparently all bullshit. It has to be, because Penn said so. In fact, he said so in earlier episodes of the show.

Teller is silent on the subject. He is very wise.

Because I respect Teller's wisdom, I think there is still hope for the end of the world. Teller and I see eye to eye, at least in the height department. In fact, I did meet both Teller and Penn in Las Vegas so I've seen those eyes and their height.

So, for Teller, the book and the blog go on. The end of the world is still coming and so is my book, The Boys Book of Armageddon.

The good news is that Penn didn't blow any holes in other ways the world will end. The Mayans be damned (by Penn), but they are just a little end compared to the other nasties out there. My money is still on dog farts, but there are many other ends we can all cower from.

Long live the end of the world! Bullshit be damned!