And now back to your regularly scheduled fear and uncertainty.
Ebola, Obama, Obama Care, and Unicorn Poop Cookies, have all failed to bring the end of the war. However there does seem to be a brewing of Ebola during election day, it seems that a rouge nation (Fox News) is scaring people to go to the poles (voting, not Festivus) to stop Obama from giving visas to terrorists (also known by their terrorist nom de plumes: maid, the lawn guy, picker, and day laborer).
The conspiracy is deep. These terrorists come straight from the middle east to the slums in Central America where they get a sex change operation (terrorists are men and too easy to spot at border crossing and women refugees are sneakier) forget Farsi, learn Spanglish, are starved and terrorized by drug gangs before being infected with ebola and then transported by coyotes (or foxes or honey badgers depending on their political preferences) to smuggle them into the united states via a secret tunnel that pops then up in the prairie lands with a child of their choice over the border.
This will of course not end the world, but it does make watching Fox news more like the Sy Fy channel.
Is the world ending soon? We are sure it is on the horizon. Grandmothers are still making potato salad with mayonnaise and poor food preparation practices. All it takes is one picnic on a sunny day to end life as we know it.
Remember to buy a copy of the book. And more importantly, remember to vote!
