2012 Theory Flushed?

The Mayans had flush toilets! That's what the report at LiveScience.com says. Indoor plumbing is a hallmark of an advanced civilization which is a code phrase for smart guys. Does that mean that the theory of the world ending in 2012 because of the Mayan calendar is correct? Given that these toilets were not the same two flush, eco toilets that we have, that at least makes the Mayans smarter than us.

But look at this another way... If Mayans had toilets, maybe that was just enough information to divine the end of the universe by measuring the impact of the galaxy on the flow of toilet water as maze laden logs swirled to the nether regions of hell.

Of course there is the Coriolis effect. This is the idea that the direction that your toilet spirals as it drains are influenced by being up here or down under. Are there other forces at work? Is this really how Mayans predicted the seasons and movement of stars and planets? Could this too be how they came up with 2012?

But(t) do Mayan toilets really help figure out that the world will be ripped apart by a galactic alignment? Does the direction and velocity of an ancient peoples pee and poo indicate the presence of a killer planet X or the Earth's poles shifting its axis?

I am often asked, "Are you totally stupid?" Other times people just giggle and point in my general direction. The fact is, we have no evidence that Mayans didn't use their flush toilets as the basis for their astronomy.

Could toilet dynamics have predicted the existence of Uranus before 1781? Or was the flush toilet out of reach of most astronomers? Could the Mayans have predicted the same, or did that see this as pointless once they discovered the end of the world and put a kibosh on the program to put a Mayan on the Moon by June?

Next time you flush, look closely. Is there a slight tug to the left? Is that the end you are seeing as you benefit from the greatest invention of mankind?