2012 Theory Flushed?

The Mayans had flush toilets! That's what the report at LiveScience.com says. Indoor plumbing is a hallmark of an advanced civilization which is a code phrase for smart guys. Does that mean that the theory of the world ending in 2012 because of the Mayan calendar is correct? Given that these toilets were not the same two flush, eco toilets that we have, that at least makes the Mayans smarter than us.

But look at this another way... If Mayans had toilets, maybe that was just enough information to divine the end of the universe by measuring the impact of the galaxy on the flow of toilet water as maze laden logs swirled to the nether regions of hell.

Of course there is the Coriolis effect. This is the idea that the direction that your toilet spirals as it drains are influenced by being up here or down under. Are there other forces at work? Is this really how Mayans predicted the seasons and movement of stars and planets? Could this too be how they came up with 2012?

But(t) do Mayan toilets really help figure out that the world will be ripped apart by a galactic alignment? Does the direction and velocity of an ancient peoples pee and poo indicate the presence of a killer planet X or the Earth's poles shifting its axis?

I am often asked, "Are you totally stupid?" Other times people just giggle and point in my general direction. The fact is, we have no evidence that Mayans didn't use their flush toilets as the basis for their astronomy.

Could toilet dynamics have predicted the existence of Uranus before 1781? Or was the flush toilet out of reach of most astronomers? Could the Mayans have predicted the same, or did that see this as pointless once they discovered the end of the world and put a kibosh on the program to put a Mayan on the Moon by June?

Next time you flush, look closely. Is there a slight tug to the left? Is that the end you are seeing as you benefit from the greatest invention of mankind?

Zombie Pigs

Word is that scientists are working on zombie pigs. What does that mean? Simply that we no longer need to wait on any gods, radiation of comets, or demon's to end the world. All we need now is current research and someone to spill a beaker of zombie pig juice in the lab's kitchenette.

Next stop, zombie invasion!

Mayon volcano in the Philippines signals end of world!

The Mayon (not Mayan) volcano in the Philippines that is about to blow! Could this be the start of all the super volcanos? Will the earth crack open any day now?

Why not send me money for an advanced copy of my book? It is currently being edited and we are working on the front cover, so not finished yet. But if you really feel the world is going to end any second now, please feel free to send me large amounts of cash for an advanced copy of The Boys Book of Armageddon.

Remember you should be prepared for the end of the world... or at least have a good laugh.

No Mayans Were Harmed Durring the Filming of this Movie

Daniel Cubias of the Huffington Postt's blog, The Hispanic Fanatic, is a prig (look it up).

Mr Cubias states: ...2012 pillages an ancient culture, deliberately misrepresents its traditions, and then claims its all true.

Sadly Mr Cubias states that Mayans were harmed during the making of 2012 like he is a member of the ASPCA trying to protect little bunnies from looking too edible during a zombie movie. No Mayans were turned into zombies or defamed or even destroyed (only South Africa survives so we assume fewer Mayan inheritors).

I saw 2012 yesterday. Yes, a couple of mentions of Mayans - no trouncing of Mayan culture. The intelligence of the audience was trampled upon and then mixed with the sort of politics you would expect from Glenn Beck(i.e. me me me). In fact, if you look closely, in the movie they say the Mayans were right about the date, then the end of the world gets recalculated and thus implies Mayans were wrong and a bit late thus endangering the survival of mankind.

But allow me to reiterate as I do so much elsewhere and in my book, "The Boys Book of Armageddon", the Mayan calendar must signal the end of the world. Mayan calendars do not include a small version of the next era's calendar, and nobody's selling Mayan calendars for Christmas 2011. These facts alone makes it true.

This 2012 hoopla is also just signaling the end of the world for Mayans, not the rest of us. I have a 5 year desk calendar that is keeping me safe and I always carry a little perpetual calendar in my wallet. You are only in danger if you still follow the Mayan calendar.

I may be wrong. I have never seen the back side of the famous Mayan calendar. There could be post office address on the back or even a web address to order a new calendar for the next 5,112 era.

NASA = Not Another Stupid Armageddon

NASA is at it again. This time they have a whole web site dedicated to debunking the end of the world in 2012. Ipso facto: The world will end.

If NASA says it isn't true, you know there is a conspiracy. Yes, another nail in the coffin that proves unashamedly that the world is ending.

With conspiracies, it is hard to prove they really are there. It has been said that the best way to make something secret is to not say anything at all, even a lie. NASA does rockets, so they don't do the conspiracy thing very well. Worse they have many facts wrong.

The first issue is Armageddon itself. I have written here before that that Armageddon is a place. So it is very difficult to say a place won't happen. Of course, even more telling, they don't mention Armageddon on the web page. That's very telling.

Better yet, NASA is trying to prove a negative. They are saying that they don't have any evidence of the end of the world and thus can't prove the world will 'not' end. Shame on NASA.

My best evidence is related to part of the web page:

Q: Does the Mayan calendar end in December 2012?
A: Just as the calendar you have on your kitchen wall does not cease to exist after December 31, the Mayan calendar does not cease to exist on December 21, 2012. This date is the end of the Mayan long-count period but then -- just as your calendar begins again on January 1 -- another long-count period begins for the Mayan calendar.

NASA is just grasping at straws by answering like this. First of all, how do they know I have a calendar in my kitchen? Is this technological fallout of the Mars rover that let's them spy on my kitchen calendar? But spying aside, they didn't look too close at my calendar. They say it just ends, but my calendar has a mini calendar for next year. It even has a web address for ordering a new calendar with new pretty pictures for next year. I have seen no evidence that the Mayan calendar has any such thing. NASA is just barking up the wrong calendar!

But things get worse! At the end of the article they point to other websites for debunking 2012. For example: http://www.badastronomy.com/bad/misc/planetx/nutshell.html. Bad Astronomy is a great website on astronomy, but not exactly a reference site for the Mayan calendar. Sloppy if you ask me. NASA needs some better writers for their anti-conspiracy-conspiracy web content.

There was one great piece of the website that I loved: The prediction that the world would end on May, 2003 from being destroyed by the wayward planet Nibiru (also known as Planet X). I had not heard of this prediction before. Curious... Does that mean NASA knew, but are just now telling us? Very curious.

All in all, this may be sort of overkill attributing conspiracy to cover up the end of the world. They also predicted that man would travel to Mars before our computers were destroyed by Y2K. NASA may have gotten us to the Moon, but they are poor at prediction. If you think about it, maybe this is their plan... NASA is bad about prediction, so the web page must be wrong, therefore it is true because it is real. Think about it!